Workplace Mannerisms

You know you've caught yourself exhibiting the following mannerisms at work. I don't know where they originated or how they became standard operating procedure, but everyone does them. You know you have.

1) The Entrance Sigh: Letting out a disaffected sigh when you enter a room. Typically occurs when you enter the copy room to grab a printout, the breakroom when you go for coffee, or when you are carrying an armful of papers. Only applies when another person is in the room, otherwise, the sigh is mysteriously omitted from your asinine task.

2) The Wide Eyes and Upward Head Lift: Socially acceptable hallway greeting. When passing a co-worker to whom you have nothing to say, a wave or high-five is excessively exuberant, but avoiding eye-contact is awkward and creepy. The common solution is to raise your eyebrows to make your eyes wide and slightly tilt your head upward, as if to say "What a day!" or "Work, work, work!". Sidenote: Stick with the facial expressions. Never, ever utter those pitiful cliché phrases.

3) The All Clear: Checking over your shoulder to see who witnesses you entering the bathroom. Why does it matter who sees you entering the bathroom? Everyone uses it during the day, sometimes on multiple occasions. But you always glance over both shoulders before entering the lavatory just to see who notices you. It doesn't matter if they did... you just want to know.